Hi, I’m Dr. Anjali, and if you’re trying to conceive or regulate your body after years of high stress, this might surprise you. The truth is—school stress, the kind we picked up as kids, doesn’t always stay in the classroom. For many women over 35, it still lives in the nervous system.

And here’s the kicker: that hidden stress may be the reason your fertility feels stuck.

The Link Between Stress and Fertility

Performance doesn’t equal safety. As kids, many of us learned that:

• Good grades meant approval.

• Productivity equaled worth.

• Being quiet meant being good.

These patterns might have helped us survive back then, but they can also wire our nervous systems for hypervigilance, perfectionism, and high cortisol levels.

And when cortisol is raised? Your body deprioritizes fertility. Why? Because it doesn’t feel safe enough to bring in new life.

That’s why so many couples conceive on vacation—when cortisol levels finally drop, and the nervous system feels safe enough to shift into rest, digest, and yes, conception.

Signs You’re Still Carrying “School Stress”

You might still be holding on to those old stress loops if you:

• Feel anxious unless everything is planned or perfect.

• Struggle to relax without guilt.

• Fear failure or disapproval.

• Get stuck in freeze or burnout cycles where numbness takes over.

• Notice hormone imbalances like long cycles or poor implantation.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. These patterns show up for many women in their 30s and 40s trying to conceive.

Why Safety Signals Matter for Conception

When you’re in survival mode—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—your body sends resources to your brain and limbs, not your core. Which means digestion, reproduction, and rest all get pushed to the back burner.

But in a parasympathetic state—your “rest, digest, and conceive” state—your breath, heart rate, digestion, and reproductive systems finally get the green light. That’s when your body feels safe enough to open the door to new life.

A Three-Part Reflection to Reset Your Nervous System

Here’s a simple exercise to start shifting your body toward safety cues:

1. What messages did you grow up with around success or failure?
   

2. What does your body feel like when you’re overwhelmed? Shortness of breath? Tight chest? Notice the signals.
   

3. What new safety cues would you want your future child to grow up with?

When you think about it from your child’s perspective, it’s easier to soften your nervous system and step into calm.

These may sound like mindset questions, but they’re actually nervous system reset prompts. Because while your stress didn’t start with you, your healing absolutely can.

If you’re ready to start transforming school stress into safety for your future family, grab my free Stress to Strength Guide.

Your body deserves to rest, digest, and conceive.